Original Knock Knock jokes.

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?”
There must be more jokes with this opening than any other formula. So I was wondering, why are knock knock jokes so popular? I didn’t come up with an answer, but I did come up with a couple of original knock knock jokes that you’ve never heard before:

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Lee.”
“Lee who?”
“Leave the door open so I don’t have to knock.”

And:
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Wendy.”
“Wendy who?”
“When do you think you’ll fix your doorbell?”

What I like best about these knock-knock jokes, is that they are about the fact that someone is knocking on a door.

Privacy for parents.

I read a book about a boy whose father put a bolt on the parents’ bedroom door, so it could be locked from the inside. Being too prudish to explain why a mother and father might want privacy, the father said it was to keep burglars out if they were broken into during the night. So the boy grew up thinking his dad was a coward who would leave the children to face an intruder while the father hid safely in his locked bedroom!

If you have the right kind of door handle, this is a simpler and more discreet method for stopping kids barging into you’re your bedroom:

Tightly grip the circular plate that sits flat against the surface of the door. Turn it anti-clockwise – it may take a firm grip and a fair amount of force to get it turning. After many turns the door handle or door knob assembly will come away from the door.

Now, remove the squarish bolt that goes through the door and into both handles – make sure you don’t lose it!

While the bolt is out, the door cannot be opened. The door will not look any different from the outside, but if someone tries to open it, the handle will turn around and around without any effect.

To open the door, simply reverse the procedure, making sure to screw the assembly back tight.

This can also be used to lock naughty kids in their room. Of course, as they grow up, kids may cotton on to this technique. Who knows, they might even try using it to lock you in. so it’s prudent to keep a spare bolt hidden away.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Yes, I think I have the answer to the question “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” This question is often posed as an example of a paradox. But to me, the answer seems glaringly obvious; the egg.

That’s because all chickens hatch from eggs, but not all eggs are laid by chickens. So assuming you believe in evolution, something that was one step earlier on the evolutionary path laid an egg that hatched into a chicken.

So, it was unquestionably the egg, containing a genetic mutation from the chicken’s antecedents.

Speaking of genetic mutation, I guess that's the theorey behind where we came from. Which makes you wonder where it all went wrong!













If you're interested in tracing your own origins, it can be more fun with a family tree service like My Great Big Family (click on the banner to visit their website)

How do people fall in love?

Near the middle of the Milky Way galaxy on a medium size star, hydrogen, helium and other elements (including Fe, Ni, O, Si, S, Mg, C, Ne, Ca, and Cr) burnt at a temperature of approximately 5,780 Kelvin. This process released millions of photons, which took 8.31 minutes, travelling at 1,079,252,848.8 km/h (670,616,629.2 miles per hour) to cross 150 million km (93 million miles) of empty space. On reaching the earth’s atmosphere, preferential scattering removed some of the blue photons giving the sky its blue hue and giving the remaining light a golden glow. These light particles continued their journey towards the earth’s surface and fell onto her face, then reflected into my eyes approximately 15 nanoseconds later. This sparked the most amazing process of all; love.


Real love heart shaped candy Organic Cotton Tee

Scientific data sourced from Wikipedia and A Short History of Nearly Everything

Unusual baby names have unexpected benefits.

Do you have an unusual name? Do you like it? I ask because I’ve never heard of anyone wishing they had a more ‘normal’ name. On the other hand, I have heard people with unusual names say they like the fact the their name is not common. Someone even told me that people with unusual names ‘do better’ but I have no idea how they did – or could – measure that.

It has always been a problem for Johns and Sues that they are likely to have namesakes in their classes and sporting teams. In the modern world, there is one more area where how common your name is will clearly make a difference; URLs and user names.

Would you believe it, but someone beat me to Malcolm.com (not that they’re doing anything with it. mal@yahoo.com and mal@hotmail.com were also snapped up. It’s a common name. That also means that someone trying to hook up with me on a service like myspace or facebook have to wade through pages and pages of other mals trying to find the real me.

If I had an unusual name, it would be so much easier.

That’s one of the reasons our children’s names are unusual. Our 10 year old boy is Jacaré. You pronounce it like the French name Jacque + array. It means alligator in Portuguese, which they speak in Brazil. That’s where we were when we decided to start a family. Our 8 year old boy is Tioram. It’s pronounced cheer+um with the emphasis on the first syllable. It is the name of a castle in Scotland, where he is born. Our 6 year old girl is called Eilidh. This is said Ay-lee. It is a fairly common name in Scotland where she was born. It means ‘light’ (as opposed to dark). Our 4 year old girl is called Caledonia. This was the first name give to the whole area that became Scotland, where she was born. We normally shorten it to Callie. Our 2 year old girl is called Wattle. This is the name of the national flower of Australia, where she was born.

(Did you notice our kids’ ages are 2,4,6,8 & 10? Neat, huh?)

The other thing you can do, depending on your family name, is match a first name to make a fun combination. So you can create names with meanings like Olivia Moore can be known as Liv Moore, Barbara Dwyer would become Barb Dwyer and Robin Banks is funny as it is. I've also heard of a Ball family that called their daughter Polly Ester.

Whatever you decide to name your baby, there is also the issue of when to let everyone know. You might decide to wait until after the baby is born. Negative opinions are less likely to be expressed by then.

Or if you want to announce it as early as possible to as many people as possible, you could get a shirt made with the name-to-be and an arrow pointing to the baby in the belly.

There are examples at PregnantByDesign.com and Materni-Tee.com.


If you would like a custom design with your chosen name on it, email pregnancydesigns at yahoo dot com (yep, that one was still available).

Or to browse other people’s name announcements, go to cafepress.com and type ‘baby names’ into the search box.


Technorati Tags: names, unusual, unique, baby, five

Maternity shirts are so cool, even men want to wear them.

Pregnancy used to be a nine-month break from style. Thankfully, fashion designers have applied their talents to the maternity market more than ever in recent years. Some high profile celebrity pregnancies helped make it cool to have a baby bump. And now, even men are getting in on the act.

When Boston writer Darren Garnick wore“The Empathy Belly,” to share the experience his pregnant wife was going through, he decided to go the extra step and wear a novelty maternity shirt as well. He chose one with a simple question mark design from PregnantByDesign.com



There are more than 1,000 design options to choose from at the site, but Darren thought the question mark was most appropriate. The reason being, he wanted people to question the motivation behind his decision to go through 24 hours as a ‘pregnant man’.

The experience was certainly an eye-opener – and even a bladder opener, with the belly’s weight making him need to go to make frequent trips to the bathroom. Just like with a real pregnancy!

Print-on-demand (POD) suppliers are starting to add maternity shirts to their range, making the possibilities endless. As well as question marks, if there is something you want to say or show on a maternity shirt, chances are it’s already available. If not, many of the designers that collaborate with the POD printers will be happy to customise something for you.

And dads don’t really have to pull on a maternity shirt to get involved. Normal men’s shirts with pregnancy-related designs can be found at Materni-Tee.com Whether he wants to announce a pregnancy or celebrate being a new dad, dads and dads-to-be can find plenty of shirts designed just for them, without needing to wear women’s clothes (unless they want to!)

To see how this ‘pregnant man’ coped for a whole 24 hours, look up Darren’s pregnancy journal at bostonherald.com/blogs/workingStiff