Smart phones, dumb people.

A woman asked an Apple support forum to save her marriage. She had
checked through the 'sent' folder on her husband's iPhone and found an
email sent to another woman, with an attachment of a photo of his
private parts. As she pt it, he was pleasuring himself, and the photo
was taken at the moment of maximum pleasure.

He denied sending it to the other woman, claiming the iPhone had a
glitch where attachments looked like they had been sent when really
the email had no attachment. She was asking the Apple forum if this
could be true.

Not surprisingly, the regular iPhone experts had never heard of the
glitch. Curiously though, someone new registered and supported the
husband's claims. Hmmm.

I'm not sure how the iPhone 3G compares to other smart phones like the
Blackberry, the Nokia N95 or Motorola RAZR V3 when it comes to this
sort of glitch. But I did see another case of a smart phone
outsmarting its owner at a restaurant recently. One of my friends was
showing photos she'd taken with her smart phone and explaining where
and what each one was. But one photo puzzled her. "Do you recognise
that?" she asked her partner. "Because I don't remember where it is."

He inspected the beautiful lake in the image and explained "that's the
screensaver."

D'oh!

A nice surprise from Brighton Kawasaki

I bought my motorbike second-hand from a farmer. It’s a Kawasaki ER-5 and he maintained it meticulously as well as getting it serviced by the book at Hard-on Kawasaki. Since they’re in Ballarat I was hardly going to keep taking it there for a service.

My first port of call for a quote was Cosway Motorcycles in the city. It’s close to my work so I’d be able to catch a cab or take pubic transport. But another rider recommended Brighton Kawasaki so I decided to try them out. The first nice surprise was that they provided a loan bike while mine was being serviced. And it was another ER-5 so there was nothing to learn as I took on the peak hour traffic. The other nice surprise was that when I went to pay, the bill was a bit less than the original quote. You don’t get that every day!

Conned by my Nanna.

I once visited my Nan in Corowa, the winery town that she retired to. I went with my girlfriend in her mother's MG Midget sports car, which we borrowed for the weekend. Unlike other occasions (when I drove my old Honda Civic), my Nan asked if I could drive her somewhere.

I drove, she navigated. But even though she knew the town quite well, she kept saying 'Oh what was I thinking, this isn't the way. Turn around here.' I would dutifully pull into the driveway she pointed at, to execute a 3-point turn. And invariably a woman of a similar vintage to my Nan would peer out of the window at her, riding in the sports car in a scarf reminiscent of Jacqui Onassis. Once, out of the corner of my eye, I think I spied my Nan give a cheeky wave to her peering peer.

Bless her. I guess that's when I realised that we grow old, but thankfully we never really grow up.

I spy with my little eye.

On a long car trip over the Melbourne Cup weekend, we started a game of 'I spy'.

During one of my turns, I said "I spy with my little eye something beginning with m' which stood for 'mirror'.

My four-year-old asked "Is it inside?"

"Yes," I answered.

"OK," she said. "I spy with my little eye..."

She thought that because i had answered 'yes' it was her turn. I guess that's how the game looks to a four-year-old lol.

Is this American irony? Election commercial.

If you get upset by foreigners poking a little fun at America, please
click the `back' button now. Because for me, the funniest part of the
CafePress `elevator' commercial above is the line `One nation. So much to say.'

Don't get me wrong, I like the rest of the commercial too. But that
line reminds me of a scene in The Blues Brothers, when Dan Akroyd asks
the barmaid what kind of music they usually have in her bar. She
answers "Oh we have both kinds; country AND western."

As an outsider looking in, to have endless iterations of `McCain' and
`Obama' just highlights how little choice American voters seem to
have.. My country, Australia, isn't much better, but there are minor
parties who hold a proportionate amount of power, due to the
proportional representation in our Upper House and preferential voting
system in the Lower House. And when I lived in Scotland, they had more
than two parties. In fact one of the `alternative' ones is now in
government.

Can you see why that line made me giggle?

But Americans shouldn't feel too bad. I do acknowledge that America has brought us some great things, like The Blues Brothers. And CafePress :-)




Technorati Tags: obama, McCain, CafePress, election, democracy

Walhalla welcomes big families.

We had a great weekend in Walhalla. We knew there would be plenty to do and see in the area so we decided to check it out, even though we’d never been there before or heard any first-hand accounts of what it’s like. We read that you can camp there, but couldn’t find any websites about the campground.

It took about 2 hours from Melbourne, towing my new trailer, which meant that the five kids had much more room in the back of the Tarago. As we drove through Walhalla, there were a few tents pitched on grassy patches by Stringers Creek. But we kept going a couple of kilometres past the centre of town and came to the North Gardens camp ground. There was no sign, so it was lucky for us that there were a few other tents there already.

Where we usually camp, the fee covers six people. With five kids plus two parents, we exceed that limit, even though we all sleep in the same tent. So it was nice to find that big families pay the same as everyone else in Walhalla – nothing. That’s right, camping is free and there is a toilet block, picnic tables and running water in the campground.



We did the walk to the long tunnel mine, visited the historical cemetery and played cricket on the mountain-top playing field. But the highlight was a 4 wheel drive tour with http://www.mountaintopexperience.com that included abandoned mines, ghost towns and fording rivers. Best of all, the very reasonable price for a family covered all seven of us – another bonus for a big family.

Single issue politics

Here you will find the funniest political slogan t-shirt, because people from all sides of politics will laugh at it.



It's not a Republican shirt. It's not a Democrat shirt. It doesn't insult Pailin, Biden, McCain or Obama. It simply says: I wear slogan t-shirts AND I VOTE

It lifts political commentary on the blogosphere to new heights by plumbing the depths of banality.


Technorati Tags: politics, democrat, republican, election, slogan

Today I lost my ‘Starbucks’ virginity.

It was my first time, and probably my last. I'd never been to a Starbucks before, partly because Naomi Woolf gave them such a bad rap in her book about rampant globalism, No Logo. Anyway, that didn't seem such an issue now that Starbucks have announced the closure of almost all their Australian stores. I read about it here.

 

That wasn't enough on its own to prompt me to break the habit of a lifetime and start drinking coffee. But a colleague who couldn't take a lunch break was desperate for her last 'Grande Mocha with skinny and no whip'. What a mouthful! What have I been missing?

 

A bill for $4.75, that's what.

 

As I handed my colleague a cardboard cup and her 25 cents change, I had little sympathy for her not being able to buy her favourite coffee any more. I have plenty of sympathy (and empathy) for the staff who are losing their jobs.

 

But apart from that, I won't miss Starbucks. They never were my cup of tea.

Why are Dutch people so tall?

A Dutch girl started work at me office recently. She's 6 foot 3 inches tall. But when I thought about it, that's not so unusual. All the people from Holland that I've met have been above average height. Which got me wondering, why would people from the Netherlands be taller than other countries? And I think I have the answer:

Because in a country that's below sea level, you have to be prepared.

Did you know you can order a Netherlands Flag White T-Shirt by flags of the world

Netherlands Flag White T-Shirt by flags of the world

Show that you're proud to be dutch.

My mother is a man.

The birth of a baby girl to a mother who is legally a man highlights the changing definition of the mother/father relationship in modern society.
Thomas Beatie kept female sex organs but underwent hormone treatment and chest surgery to become a man. He famously became pregnant in 2007 with photos of his belly circulating widely on the Internet and a popular TV talk show.
Perhaps because there have always been discussions and jokes about ‘if men became pregnant’ the story has really captured the world’s imagination.
Now, with the birth of his daughter, Beatie has fulfilled what he described as a gender-neutral desire to have a biological child.
While this may be a unique case of a ‘pregnant man’, it’s certainly not the first or only time a child has been conceived in unconventional circumstances. Like Thomas’ wife, many women cannot conceive naturally due to hysterectomies, problems from a previous ectopic pregnancy or caesarian or a host of other reasons. Like Thomas himself, many choose to become pregnant through artificial insemination or other means.
And like him, they often face problems receiving the medical help they desire due to a conflict with the doctor’s ethics or prejudices.
Same-sex couples are treated differently in different parts of the world, and their legal rights in relation to parenting are changing in many countries. When a gay or lesbian couple do decide to raise their own child, curiosity piques many person to ask who the ‘real’ (meaning biological) father or mother is.
One lesbian couple I know have no such qualms. Their child calls one of them ‘mum’ and calls the other one ‘dad’. Nonetheless, many parents who are gay find they need to assert that they are both the real mother or both the real father.





If they both feel real love for the child, who could argue with that?

A puzzle you've never seen before.

Do you like puzzles and riddles? You know the kind, like the one where you have to join nine dots with four straight lines, or come up with one question that will tell you which of two doors (guarded by two people, one of whom always lies and one of whom always tells the truth) leads to freedom. Or about the dead body found in a field of snow with no-one else’s footsteps nearby.

Anyway, the point is, we all know the same puzzles. They keep cropping up. So here’s one you haven’t heard before (unless you’re reading this post for the second time lol).

Question: Two people regularly nod to each other on the way to work. Most work days they see each other and nod. But standing in line together at the sandwich bar at lunchtime, they don't acknowledge each other at all. What’s the explanation?

Don’t look yet, but the answer is near the bottom of this post. If you’re one of those who look for puzzle answers straight away, that’s fine too.

Otherwise, while you wrack your brains for the answer, you might want to look over the big collections of puzzles in these puzzle and riddle books...


..or ponder the world’s shortest puzzle – this question mark t-shirt.



For one answer to the question mark, read the first post on this blog.

You might also enjoy these Escher posters. Escher is the guy who drew the hand drawing the hand, and other mind-bending concepts.

Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet by CafePress

When I think of Escher artwork, this one called Drawing Hands always comes to mind. It shows hands drawing the illustration that they are part of. It's typically counter-intuitive and Escheresque.

Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet by CafePress

If someone had never seen Escher's art before, this is the one I would want to show them first.

Prices and styles for Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet vary and are subject to change.

Anyway, the answer to the puzzle is…

Answer: They’re both motorcyclists, who nod to other motorcyclists (as many bikers do as part of motorcycling etiquette*) but then don’t recognise each other without their helmets when they buy lunch at the same sandwich bar.

Now that you know the answer, you can stump other puzzle fans, because they won’t have heard it before.

*One puzzling thing about motorcycling etiquette, is who to nod to. For example, if you ride one of the popular Japanese motorbikes, you can nod to most other bikers. But someone on a Harley or the expensive European motorbikes might turn their nose up at your gesture of camaraderie. On the other hand, someone on a Vespa or scooter might not get why you are nodding either.

Original Knock Knock jokes.

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?”
There must be more jokes with this opening than any other formula. So I was wondering, why are knock knock jokes so popular? I didn’t come up with an answer, but I did come up with a couple of original knock knock jokes that you’ve never heard before:

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Lee.”
“Lee who?”
“Leave the door open so I don’t have to knock.”

And:
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Wendy.”
“Wendy who?”
“When do you think you’ll fix your doorbell?”

What I like best about these knock-knock jokes, is that they are about the fact that someone is knocking on a door.

Privacy for parents.

I read a book about a boy whose father put a bolt on the parents’ bedroom door, so it could be locked from the inside. Being too prudish to explain why a mother and father might want privacy, the father said it was to keep burglars out if they were broken into during the night. So the boy grew up thinking his dad was a coward who would leave the children to face an intruder while the father hid safely in his locked bedroom!

If you have the right kind of door handle, this is a simpler and more discreet method for stopping kids barging into you’re your bedroom:

Tightly grip the circular plate that sits flat against the surface of the door. Turn it anti-clockwise – it may take a firm grip and a fair amount of force to get it turning. After many turns the door handle or door knob assembly will come away from the door.

Now, remove the squarish bolt that goes through the door and into both handles – make sure you don’t lose it!

While the bolt is out, the door cannot be opened. The door will not look any different from the outside, but if someone tries to open it, the handle will turn around and around without any effect.

To open the door, simply reverse the procedure, making sure to screw the assembly back tight.

This can also be used to lock naughty kids in their room. Of course, as they grow up, kids may cotton on to this technique. Who knows, they might even try using it to lock you in. so it’s prudent to keep a spare bolt hidden away.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Yes, I think I have the answer to the question “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” This question is often posed as an example of a paradox. But to me, the answer seems glaringly obvious; the egg.

That’s because all chickens hatch from eggs, but not all eggs are laid by chickens. So assuming you believe in evolution, something that was one step earlier on the evolutionary path laid an egg that hatched into a chicken.

So, it was unquestionably the egg, containing a genetic mutation from the chicken’s antecedents.

Speaking of genetic mutation, I guess that's the theorey behind where we came from. Which makes you wonder where it all went wrong!













If you're interested in tracing your own origins, it can be more fun with a family tree service like My Great Big Family (click on the banner to visit their website)