Do people love their iPhones more than their babies?

I recently heard a story about a woman trying to cross a busy road while pushing a baby in a pram (stroller). As the pram went over the curb, it nearly tipped over. If the baby hadn't been strapped in, it would have been dumped on to the road. The mother reversed, tried again, and the same thing happened. The reason, apparently, was the mother had an iPhone glued to her ear so was trying to do all this one-handed.

Instead of making this a 'baby versus iPhone' debate, let's combine a love for them both with this pregnancy announcement iPhone case. Then your iPhone and your baby can get off to a good start without feeling jealous of each other.

The same design is available on different iPhone cases at Materni-Tee.com

The greatest invention in the world – ever.

Ever wondered what's the best thing mankind has ever invented? Well,
you're looking at it.

No, I don't mean the Internet, flat screens or anything like that. I
mean language.

It lets us cooperate and collaborate. It lets us pass knowledge from
generation to generation without waiting for natural selection to weed
out those that haven't picked up on something. It lets us entertain
and be entertained. And it lets us build our own ideas on the
foundations of ideas dreamt up by others.

So forget the wheel, the internal combustion engine or even the
control of fire. The bright sparks who created language are the
greatest inventors of all time.

If you can think of a better invention, tell me about it in the
comments space below.

Smart phones, dumb people.

A woman asked an Apple support forum to save her marriage. She had
checked through the 'sent' folder on her husband's iPhone and found an
email sent to another woman, with an attachment of a photo of his
private parts. As she pt it, he was pleasuring himself, and the photo
was taken at the moment of maximum pleasure.

He denied sending it to the other woman, claiming the iPhone had a
glitch where attachments looked like they had been sent when really
the email had no attachment. She was asking the Apple forum if this
could be true.

Not surprisingly, the regular iPhone experts had never heard of the
glitch. Curiously though, someone new registered and supported the
husband's claims. Hmmm.

I'm not sure how the iPhone 3G compares to other smart phones like the
Blackberry, the Nokia N95 or Motorola RAZR V3 when it comes to this
sort of glitch. But I did see another case of a smart phone
outsmarting its owner at a restaurant recently. One of my friends was
showing photos she'd taken with her smart phone and explaining where
and what each one was. But one photo puzzled her. "Do you recognise
that?" she asked her partner. "Because I don't remember where it is."

He inspected the beautiful lake in the image and explained "that's the
screensaver."

D'oh!

A nice surprise from Brighton Kawasaki

I bought my motorbike second-hand from a farmer. It’s a Kawasaki ER-5 and he maintained it meticulously as well as getting it serviced by the book at Hard-on Kawasaki. Since they’re in Ballarat I was hardly going to keep taking it there for a service.

My first port of call for a quote was Cosway Motorcycles in the city. It’s close to my work so I’d be able to catch a cab or take pubic transport. But another rider recommended Brighton Kawasaki so I decided to try them out. The first nice surprise was that they provided a loan bike while mine was being serviced. And it was another ER-5 so there was nothing to learn as I took on the peak hour traffic. The other nice surprise was that when I went to pay, the bill was a bit less than the original quote. You don’t get that every day!

Conned by my Nanna.

I once visited my Nan in Corowa, the winery town that she retired to. I went with my girlfriend in her mother's MG Midget sports car, which we borrowed for the weekend. Unlike other occasions (when I drove my old Honda Civic), my Nan asked if I could drive her somewhere.

I drove, she navigated. But even though she knew the town quite well, she kept saying 'Oh what was I thinking, this isn't the way. Turn around here.' I would dutifully pull into the driveway she pointed at, to execute a 3-point turn. And invariably a woman of a similar vintage to my Nan would peer out of the window at her, riding in the sports car in a scarf reminiscent of Jacqui Onassis. Once, out of the corner of my eye, I think I spied my Nan give a cheeky wave to her peering peer.

Bless her. I guess that's when I realised that we grow old, but thankfully we never really grow up.

I spy with my little eye.

On a long car trip over the Melbourne Cup weekend, we started a game of 'I spy'.

During one of my turns, I said "I spy with my little eye something beginning with m' which stood for 'mirror'.

My four-year-old asked "Is it inside?"

"Yes," I answered.

"OK," she said. "I spy with my little eye..."

She thought that because i had answered 'yes' it was her turn. I guess that's how the game looks to a four-year-old lol.

Is this American irony? Election commercial.

If you get upset by foreigners poking a little fun at America, please
click the `back' button now. Because for me, the funniest part of the
CafePress `elevator' commercial above is the line `One nation. So much to say.'

Don't get me wrong, I like the rest of the commercial too. But that
line reminds me of a scene in The Blues Brothers, when Dan Akroyd asks
the barmaid what kind of music they usually have in her bar. She
answers "Oh we have both kinds; country AND western."

As an outsider looking in, to have endless iterations of `McCain' and
`Obama' just highlights how little choice American voters seem to
have.. My country, Australia, isn't much better, but there are minor
parties who hold a proportionate amount of power, due to the
proportional representation in our Upper House and preferential voting
system in the Lower House. And when I lived in Scotland, they had more
than two parties. In fact one of the `alternative' ones is now in
government.

Can you see why that line made me giggle?

But Americans shouldn't feel too bad. I do acknowledge that America has brought us some great things, like The Blues Brothers. And CafePress :-)




Technorati Tags: obama, McCain, CafePress, election, democracy

Walhalla welcomes big families.

We had a great weekend in Walhalla. We knew there would be plenty to do and see in the area so we decided to check it out, even though we’d never been there before or heard any first-hand accounts of what it’s like. We read that you can camp there, but couldn’t find any websites about the campground.

It took about 2 hours from Melbourne, towing my new trailer, which meant that the five kids had much more room in the back of the Tarago. As we drove through Walhalla, there were a few tents pitched on grassy patches by Stringers Creek. But we kept going a couple of kilometres past the centre of town and came to the North Gardens camp ground. There was no sign, so it was lucky for us that there were a few other tents there already.

Where we usually camp, the fee covers six people. With five kids plus two parents, we exceed that limit, even though we all sleep in the same tent. So it was nice to find that big families pay the same as everyone else in Walhalla – nothing. That’s right, camping is free and there is a toilet block, picnic tables and running water in the campground.



We did the walk to the long tunnel mine, visited the historical cemetery and played cricket on the mountain-top playing field. But the highlight was a 4 wheel drive tour with http://www.mountaintopexperience.com that included abandoned mines, ghost towns and fording rivers. Best of all, the very reasonable price for a family covered all seven of us – another bonus for a big family.

Single issue politics

Here you will find the funniest political slogan t-shirt, because people from all sides of politics will laugh at it.



It's not a Republican shirt. It's not a Democrat shirt. It doesn't insult Pailin, Biden, McCain or Obama. It simply says: I wear slogan t-shirts AND I VOTE

It lifts political commentary on the blogosphere to new heights by plumbing the depths of banality.


Technorati Tags: politics, democrat, republican, election, slogan

Today I lost my ‘Starbucks’ virginity.

It was my first time, and probably my last. I'd never been to a Starbucks before, partly because Naomi Woolf gave them such a bad rap in her book about rampant globalism, No Logo. Anyway, that didn't seem such an issue now that Starbucks have announced the closure of almost all their Australian stores. I read about it here.

 

That wasn't enough on its own to prompt me to break the habit of a lifetime and start drinking coffee. But a colleague who couldn't take a lunch break was desperate for her last 'Grande Mocha with skinny and no whip'. What a mouthful! What have I been missing?

 

A bill for $4.75, that's what.

 

As I handed my colleague a cardboard cup and her 25 cents change, I had little sympathy for her not being able to buy her favourite coffee any more. I have plenty of sympathy (and empathy) for the staff who are losing their jobs.

 

But apart from that, I won't miss Starbucks. They never were my cup of tea.

Why are Dutch people so tall?

A Dutch girl started work at me office recently. She's 6 foot 3 inches tall. But when I thought about it, that's not so unusual. All the people from Holland that I've met have been above average height. Which got me wondering, why would people from the Netherlands be taller than other countries? And I think I have the answer:

Because in a country that's below sea level, you have to be prepared.

Did you know you can order a Netherlands Flag White T-Shirt by flags of the world

Netherlands Flag White T-Shirt by flags of the world

Show that you're proud to be dutch.

My mother is a man.

The birth of a baby girl to a mother who is legally a man highlights the changing definition of the mother/father relationship in modern society.
Thomas Beatie kept female sex organs but underwent hormone treatment and chest surgery to become a man. He famously became pregnant in 2007 with photos of his belly circulating widely on the Internet and a popular TV talk show.
Perhaps because there have always been discussions and jokes about ‘if men became pregnant’ the story has really captured the world’s imagination.
Now, with the birth of his daughter, Beatie has fulfilled what he described as a gender-neutral desire to have a biological child.
While this may be a unique case of a ‘pregnant man’, it’s certainly not the first or only time a child has been conceived in unconventional circumstances. Like Thomas’ wife, many women cannot conceive naturally due to hysterectomies, problems from a previous ectopic pregnancy or caesarian or a host of other reasons. Like Thomas himself, many choose to become pregnant through artificial insemination or other means.
And like him, they often face problems receiving the medical help they desire due to a conflict with the doctor’s ethics or prejudices.
Same-sex couples are treated differently in different parts of the world, and their legal rights in relation to parenting are changing in many countries. When a gay or lesbian couple do decide to raise their own child, curiosity piques many person to ask who the ‘real’ (meaning biological) father or mother is.
One lesbian couple I know have no such qualms. Their child calls one of them ‘mum’ and calls the other one ‘dad’. Nonetheless, many parents who are gay find they need to assert that they are both the real mother or both the real father.





If they both feel real love for the child, who could argue with that?

A puzzle you've never seen before.

Do you like puzzles and riddles? You know the kind, like the one where you have to join nine dots with four straight lines, or come up with one question that will tell you which of two doors (guarded by two people, one of whom always lies and one of whom always tells the truth) leads to freedom. Or about the dead body found in a field of snow with no-one else’s footsteps nearby.

Anyway, the point is, we all know the same puzzles. They keep cropping up. So here’s one you haven’t heard before (unless you’re reading this post for the second time lol).

Question: Two people regularly nod to each other on the way to work. Most work days they see each other and nod. But standing in line together at the sandwich bar at lunchtime, they don't acknowledge each other at all. What’s the explanation?

Don’t look yet, but the answer is near the bottom of this post. If you’re one of those who look for puzzle answers straight away, that’s fine too.

Otherwise, while you wrack your brains for the answer, you might want to look over the big collections of puzzles in these puzzle and riddle books...


..or ponder the world’s shortest puzzle – this question mark t-shirt.



For one answer to the question mark, read the first post on this blog.

You might also enjoy these Escher posters. Escher is the guy who drew the hand drawing the hand, and other mind-bending concepts.

Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet by CafePress

When I think of Escher artwork, this one called Drawing Hands always comes to mind. It shows hands drawing the illustration that they are part of. It's typically counter-intuitive and Escheresque.

Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet by CafePress

If someone had never seen Escher's art before, this is the one I would want to show them first.

Prices and styles for Drawing Hands Rectangle Magnet vary and are subject to change.

Anyway, the answer to the puzzle is…

Answer: They’re both motorcyclists, who nod to other motorcyclists (as many bikers do as part of motorcycling etiquette*) but then don’t recognise each other without their helmets when they buy lunch at the same sandwich bar.

Now that you know the answer, you can stump other puzzle fans, because they won’t have heard it before.

*One puzzling thing about motorcycling etiquette, is who to nod to. For example, if you ride one of the popular Japanese motorbikes, you can nod to most other bikers. But someone on a Harley or the expensive European motorbikes might turn their nose up at your gesture of camaraderie. On the other hand, someone on a Vespa or scooter might not get why you are nodding either.

Original Knock Knock jokes.

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?”
There must be more jokes with this opening than any other formula. So I was wondering, why are knock knock jokes so popular? I didn’t come up with an answer, but I did come up with a couple of original knock knock jokes that you’ve never heard before:

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Lee.”
“Lee who?”
“Leave the door open so I don’t have to knock.”

And:
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Wendy.”
“Wendy who?”
“When do you think you’ll fix your doorbell?”

What I like best about these knock-knock jokes, is that they are about the fact that someone is knocking on a door.

Privacy for parents.

I read a book about a boy whose father put a bolt on the parents’ bedroom door, so it could be locked from the inside. Being too prudish to explain why a mother and father might want privacy, the father said it was to keep burglars out if they were broken into during the night. So the boy grew up thinking his dad was a coward who would leave the children to face an intruder while the father hid safely in his locked bedroom!

If you have the right kind of door handle, this is a simpler and more discreet method for stopping kids barging into you’re your bedroom:

Tightly grip the circular plate that sits flat against the surface of the door. Turn it anti-clockwise – it may take a firm grip and a fair amount of force to get it turning. After many turns the door handle or door knob assembly will come away from the door.

Now, remove the squarish bolt that goes through the door and into both handles – make sure you don’t lose it!

While the bolt is out, the door cannot be opened. The door will not look any different from the outside, but if someone tries to open it, the handle will turn around and around without any effect.

To open the door, simply reverse the procedure, making sure to screw the assembly back tight.

This can also be used to lock naughty kids in their room. Of course, as they grow up, kids may cotton on to this technique. Who knows, they might even try using it to lock you in. so it’s prudent to keep a spare bolt hidden away.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Yes, I think I have the answer to the question “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” This question is often posed as an example of a paradox. But to me, the answer seems glaringly obvious; the egg.

That’s because all chickens hatch from eggs, but not all eggs are laid by chickens. So assuming you believe in evolution, something that was one step earlier on the evolutionary path laid an egg that hatched into a chicken.

So, it was unquestionably the egg, containing a genetic mutation from the chicken’s antecedents.

Speaking of genetic mutation, I guess that's the theorey behind where we came from. Which makes you wonder where it all went wrong!













If you're interested in tracing your own origins, it can be more fun with a family tree service like My Great Big Family (click on the banner to visit their website)

How do people fall in love?

Near the middle of the Milky Way galaxy on a medium size star, hydrogen, helium and other elements (including Fe, Ni, O, Si, S, Mg, C, Ne, Ca, and Cr) burnt at a temperature of approximately 5,780 Kelvin. This process released millions of photons, which took 8.31 minutes, travelling at 1,079,252,848.8 km/h (670,616,629.2 miles per hour) to cross 150 million km (93 million miles) of empty space. On reaching the earth’s atmosphere, preferential scattering removed some of the blue photons giving the sky its blue hue and giving the remaining light a golden glow. These light particles continued their journey towards the earth’s surface and fell onto her face, then reflected into my eyes approximately 15 nanoseconds later. This sparked the most amazing process of all; love.


Real love heart shaped candy Organic Cotton Tee

Scientific data sourced from Wikipedia and A Short History of Nearly Everything

Unusual baby names have unexpected benefits.

Do you have an unusual name? Do you like it? I ask because I’ve never heard of anyone wishing they had a more ‘normal’ name. On the other hand, I have heard people with unusual names say they like the fact the their name is not common. Someone even told me that people with unusual names ‘do better’ but I have no idea how they did – or could – measure that.

It has always been a problem for Johns and Sues that they are likely to have namesakes in their classes and sporting teams. In the modern world, there is one more area where how common your name is will clearly make a difference; URLs and user names.

Would you believe it, but someone beat me to Malcolm.com (not that they’re doing anything with it. mal@yahoo.com and mal@hotmail.com were also snapped up. It’s a common name. That also means that someone trying to hook up with me on a service like myspace or facebook have to wade through pages and pages of other mals trying to find the real me.

If I had an unusual name, it would be so much easier.

That’s one of the reasons our children’s names are unusual. Our 10 year old boy is Jacaré. You pronounce it like the French name Jacque + array. It means alligator in Portuguese, which they speak in Brazil. That’s where we were when we decided to start a family. Our 8 year old boy is Tioram. It’s pronounced cheer+um with the emphasis on the first syllable. It is the name of a castle in Scotland, where he is born. Our 6 year old girl is called Eilidh. This is said Ay-lee. It is a fairly common name in Scotland where she was born. It means ‘light’ (as opposed to dark). Our 4 year old girl is called Caledonia. This was the first name give to the whole area that became Scotland, where she was born. We normally shorten it to Callie. Our 2 year old girl is called Wattle. This is the name of the national flower of Australia, where she was born.

(Did you notice our kids’ ages are 2,4,6,8 & 10? Neat, huh?)

The other thing you can do, depending on your family name, is match a first name to make a fun combination. So you can create names with meanings like Olivia Moore can be known as Liv Moore, Barbara Dwyer would become Barb Dwyer and Robin Banks is funny as it is. I've also heard of a Ball family that called their daughter Polly Ester.

Whatever you decide to name your baby, there is also the issue of when to let everyone know. You might decide to wait until after the baby is born. Negative opinions are less likely to be expressed by then.

Or if you want to announce it as early as possible to as many people as possible, you could get a shirt made with the name-to-be and an arrow pointing to the baby in the belly.

There are examples at PregnantByDesign.com and Materni-Tee.com.


If you would like a custom design with your chosen name on it, email pregnancydesigns at yahoo dot com (yep, that one was still available).

Or to browse other people’s name announcements, go to cafepress.com and type ‘baby names’ into the search box.


Technorati Tags: names, unusual, unique, baby, five

Maternity shirts are so cool, even men want to wear them.

Pregnancy used to be a nine-month break from style. Thankfully, fashion designers have applied their talents to the maternity market more than ever in recent years. Some high profile celebrity pregnancies helped make it cool to have a baby bump. And now, even men are getting in on the act.

When Boston writer Darren Garnick wore“The Empathy Belly,” to share the experience his pregnant wife was going through, he decided to go the extra step and wear a novelty maternity shirt as well. He chose one with a simple question mark design from PregnantByDesign.com



There are more than 1,000 design options to choose from at the site, but Darren thought the question mark was most appropriate. The reason being, he wanted people to question the motivation behind his decision to go through 24 hours as a ‘pregnant man’.

The experience was certainly an eye-opener – and even a bladder opener, with the belly’s weight making him need to go to make frequent trips to the bathroom. Just like with a real pregnancy!

Print-on-demand (POD) suppliers are starting to add maternity shirts to their range, making the possibilities endless. As well as question marks, if there is something you want to say or show on a maternity shirt, chances are it’s already available. If not, many of the designers that collaborate with the POD printers will be happy to customise something for you.

And dads don’t really have to pull on a maternity shirt to get involved. Normal men’s shirts with pregnancy-related designs can be found at Materni-Tee.com Whether he wants to announce a pregnancy or celebrate being a new dad, dads and dads-to-be can find plenty of shirts designed just for them, without needing to wear women’s clothes (unless they want to!)

To see how this ‘pregnant man’ coped for a whole 24 hours, look up Darren’s pregnancy journal at bostonherald.com/blogs/workingStiff